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White People are So Cool

And not just cool, they’re super popular in the Democratic primaries! I mean, everybody’s trying to get a few on their side:

Clinton makes case for wide appeal – USATODAY.com

“I have a much broader base to build a winning coalition on,” she said in an interview with USA TODAY. As evidence, Clinton cited an Associated Press article “that found how Sen. Obama’s support among working, hard-working Americans, white Americans, is weakening again, and how whites in both states who had not completed college were supporting me.”

Yeah, white people rock, ya gotta have white people. Especially because they’re such hard workers! Not like those lame-ass non-white people. Why, if you’ve got a big convention in a few hours but you forgot to put up a podium, what you need is some white people! They’ll get that podium up lickity-split, no shit!

Let me just say for what I hope to be the last time this election season that my dad has worked thirty plus years at Xerox, putting in fifty and sixty hour weeks to pay for mine and my sister’s upbringing. His dad worked at Bell and Howell. I learned to cook because my mom was working two jobs and somebody had to put mac and cheese on the table for me. I graduated from Sodus High School, also known as the “Not Quite Ready for Ivy League Players.” I went to school for a year for music. . . it was MCC.

If some southern Republican douchebag with shit on his boots wants to call me a New York liberal elitist, that’s on him. But when my multi-millionaire Senator – who is married to a Rhodes Scholar, for Chrissakes – does it, it fucking pisses me off. I’d like to let it go and vote for her next time she’s up for reelection in the Senate, but she makes it very hard to do. 2000 may go down in my personal history as the last time I voted for a Clinton, . . unless Chelsea runs, and then only because she’s hot.

And yes, goddamnit, I like lattes. The largest one you’ve got, caramel, with drizzle on top, hold the scones. Happy?

By Tommy Belknap

Owner, developer, editor of DragonFlyEye.Net, Tom Belknap is also a freelance journalist for The 585 lifestyle magazine. He lives in the Rochester area with his wife and son.