An investigator in the O.J. Simpson trial told the court that one of the witnesses against Simpson was paid off by The Juice to plead the 5th. Wait for it. . . .

So, what was the purpose of the armed robbery and the subsequent kidnapping? Well, auctioneers were auctioning off O.J. Simpson’s prized possessions, which he felt were not for sale. So he held them at gunpoint in the middle of Las Vegas in the middle of the day to get them back. Apparently, O.J. is pretty serious about keeping his shit, right?

So, what did Nordberg use to bribe the star witness? Money? Aw, hell no, children! He bribed the dude with his Hall of Fame ring!

Dude, seriously. WTF?

This one’s been making it’s way around the Internet, of course. Sarah Palin doing an interview about how “brutal” the campaign trail is whilst standing in front of a slaughterhouse for turkeys. Those of weak stomachs will want to turn away, but watch as the stainless steel death machine shudders while she discusses the “levity” of the moment. It recalls Whose Line is it Anyways, when they put the comedian in front of a screen showing videos completely incongruous to what they’re talking about.

And of course in this context, I can’t help but notice that it seems unspeakably inappropriate for any politician – Right or Left, Republican or Democrat, Sage or Dipshit – to be found outside of any building without a latte. What the hell is up with that?

Somehow, with all the talk, it seems The Onion has the best reaction to the Barack Obama presidency that I’ve yet read.

Statistician: A man who believes figures don’t lie, but admits that under analysis some of them won’t stand up either.
- Evan Esar

I think it’s safe to say that those of us who support Barack Obama are starting to feel pretty good right about now.  The poll numbers look good so far, the issues are against the McCain-Palin ticket and the momentum seems to be heading our way.  But before we get too used to success, let us remember our friend the cyclist and wait to celebrate until after the finish line: