OM-freakin’-G, this is funny.

David Blaine will be suspended above the ice rink in Central Park for 60 hours.  It only takes maybe six to get there, so it’s not too late if you want to watch him. . . well, . . . hang there.

Asked why he does the dopey shit he does (I’m sure that’s not how the question was framed), he said this:

Magician Blaine to hang upside down for 60 hrs | Entertainment | Reuters

“I like to do these things because it gives me a different perspective, for a short duration. But that perspective is important to the rest of my normal existence,” he said.

So, Dave: have you ever done something which altered your perspective to the point that you realized what a useless douchebag you are to the rest of us?  You should try something like that.

Play the game, it’s fun!  Fox Business or Porn Star?  It’s harder than you think. . .

I’m a huge fan and regular reader of some of the most banal crap on the Internet.  That’s what makes me the blogger I am.  And one of those favourite sites to visit - in fact, top of the list - is Engrish.com.  This post by some dude on some random blog includes a bunch of great ones from the past.  Enjoy.

From the people who brought you “LOL Cats” comes “GraphJam.com,” a truly bizarre collection of humor from people with entirely too much access to Excel:

Perhaps not, but apparently it does leave a paper trail. Josh Marshall at TPM points out this great OpEd piece from Michael Gerson, railing against Al Franken’s brazen crudeness. Because, of course, we all know Al as the king of filthy humor. Watch in delight and mirth as he goes out of his way to look like a humorless loser by itemizing Franken’s humor:

Michael Gerson - Vulgarian at the Gate - washingtonpost.com

Franken’s “brand name” includes other highlights. In 2006, after a long monologue about a dog and its vomit, Franken impersonated the deceased Sen. Strom Thurmond as saying: “Yeah, I screwed a woman who was vomiting once.” He once proposed a television sketch about a female CBS reporter being drugged and raped. He has suggested that his next book title might be “I F — – — Hate Those Right-Wing Motherf — – — !” At an event hosted by the Feminist Majority Foundation in 1999, Franken offered this thigh-slapper: “Why don’t we focus on what Afghan women can do? They can cook, bear children and pray. As I recall, that was fine for our grandmothers.”

I’d like to think that Gerson isn’t just feigning humorlessness. I’d like to think he’s really that dumb. And best of all, he joins our own Rochester Democrat and Chronicle puditry in it’s crusade against long-dead musical trends:

Michael Gerson - Vulgarian at the Gate - washingtonpost.com

Our popular culture, of course, violates even these expansive boundaries of tastelessness with regularity. We laugh at comedies featuring the C-word and at cartoons of foul-mouthed third-graders. In the cause of relevance and realism, our common life is already decorated with excrement. Why should political discourse be any different?

For at least one reason: Because vulgarity is often the opposite of civility. . . But the vulgarity of “The Jerry Springer Show” or misogynous rap music — the cultural equivalents of Franken’s political “satire” — generally expresses contempt and cruelty.

Note how, in an attempt at humor, a Conservative columnist feigns concern over “misogyny.” Well, we can’t all be Jerry Lewis.

Nothing says “I’m really, really fucking old” quite like making campaign barbs out of presidents from thirty years ago, and trying to make them look like they’re really relevant:

Jonathan Martin’s Blog: Playing the Carter card - Politico.com

“Senator Obama says that I’m running for a Bush’s third term,” McCain said, picking up the central Democratic line of attack. “Seems to me he’s running for Jimmy Carter’s second.”

This is sad on a number of levels. Firstly, while the above quoted post tries charitably to come up with reasons why the Carter jab is a good one, the author points out things indicative of the Bush Administration such as gas prices and weak national security. But that’s probably too deep, anyway. The real problem is that, as I approach middle age, half the people my age and younger don’t really even know who Jimmy Carter was as a president, and know him rather as the Nobel Prize winning, charming old Southern guy who rocks out interviews on The Daily Show. That seems like a positive thing.

Maybe McCain aught to dig a bit deeper into our history, into something that isn’t half-assed taught in the last few weeks of June when there’s no air conditioning and no one’s even paying attention, anyway. Perhaps a Millard Fillmore crack, of some kind?

This is kinda cool: the Chicago Tribune put together a menagerie of terrible, terrible album covers for you. I’m not sure, however, if they’re all legit. One album is called “Can I Borrow a Feelin’,” which is the album and hit single of none other than Kirk Van Houten of The Simpsons.

Anyway, check it out:

“I Seen Her First.” Classic!

I tell ya, today has been an interesting day of surfing over here at DFE, people!

The Herbwife’s Kitchen » Flax in the bedroom.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, gooey flax tea makes a great personal lubricant!

Homemade lube. How cool is that?

. . . .

My first response to that recipe is that the quantities are way too large (unless you plan to give some away to all your friends). We’re talking about a perishable product here, so I’d suggest making only a cup or two at a time.

And, . . . say! Doesn’t that website look an awful lot like RochesterTurning.com? No reflection on you guys, I’m sure! LOL!

I didn’t think so up until now, but given the penchant for bizarre sexual behavior, you have to wonder if one of these fellas doesn’t turn up in the Florida legislature soon:

BBC NEWS | Science/Nature | ‘Sex pest’ seal attacks penguin

Why the seal attempted to have sex with the penguin is unclear. But the scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal.

Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual.

Seals, by the way, are known to have an evolutionarily predisposed “wide stance.”