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Flaccid

Spare yourself the trouble of watching the entire speech, I don’t suppose I’m really going to make it through 26 minutes of Rudy, myself.  But check out in his opening remarks the wholly unenthusiastic response to Rudy’s call to arms:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB9JRcZO8_4[/youtube]

Every four years, we are told that this presidential election is the most important one in our lifetime.  This year, with what’s at stake, 2008 is the most important election in our lifetime, and we’d better get it right.

:: tepid, almost apologetic applause ::

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911 – Less Problematic Than We’d Thought

So saeth the King of all Terrorist Crisises, former Mayor Rudy 9iul1ann1.  Despite his constant trumpeting of his experience on 911 throughout the primary campaign populated by men of at least reasonable experience, when asked if the former Mayor of Wasilla (Alaska), Sarah Palin, would be ready for a similar 911 experience, the Rudy-meister said he was “confident.”

What do you expect from a guy who spent 911 waving his arms and walking the streets of New York because his bunker got blowed up?

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91ul1ani for Gov? Well, Isn’t That Special!

When the buzzards start hovering, its little wonder that the man who made 911 his one and only campaign platform should be the buzzard in charge. In this case, however, Giuliani shows us that his careful, level-headed planning that served him so well in the Republican Primary could be at least as effective here in New York State:

GIULIANI WEIGHING ‘SPECIAL’ RUN FOR GOV – New York Post

In the latest twist in New York politics, Rudy Giuliani is eyeing a run for governor in a special election this fall should Gov. Paterson be forced to resign, sources say.

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Clinton, Obama, Money and Clean Money

Of course, it’s all over the place now that Hillary Clinton loaned her own campaign 5 million dollars to remain solvent as this race between Democrats continues.  It goes without saying that a candidate who has previously had the support of PACs, establishment Democrats and deep pocket friends having to suddenly fund their own campaign is a sign that the engine is over-heating and that this old V8 Ford is about to stall at the finish line.  And at the same time, the ability of Barack Obama to raise 3 million dollars just in the last day is an amazing thing pointing to – whatever the naysayers may say – an incredible grassroots bed of support that continues to grow.

But as much as I support Barack Obama and wish him well, it is a shame that in an election where we should be discussing ideas and solutions, the conversation and the race revolve around money.  I don’t think that Rudy 9iu11iani would have been any more effective in a Clean Money system, nor do I think Obama would have been less so.  But these are the giants for whom the establishment has already made way.  Obama was already a Senator, 9iu11iani a Mayor, and John Edwards was a well-recognized face on the trail.  But who else might have bubbled up to the surface if money and connections had not been the primary means of success in presidential politics?

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Rudy’s New Ad

Note that, in discussing the Talking Head culture, he never shows so much as one image of Bill Orally, Shawn Hannity, Brit Hume or any other Conservative out there.  Just a lot of Keith Olbermann.

It’s the liberal media out to get you, folks.  Boogie, boogie, boogie!!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqSx88MZwX0[/youtube]

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Mi Nombre Esta Hipocrita

Rudy Giuliani rocks, man. I’m going to miss him when this election season is over with. Apparently, the man who has been pretending to be tough on immigration for the sake of the Republican Party primaries (no, not Romney) is airing a campaign ad in Spanish.  Even better, it mentions (in Spanish) President Ronald Reagan and ends with the words, “Soy Rudy Giuliani y he aprobado este mensaje.”

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Giuliani Cried, Too. . . On 911

But of course!  Rudy G is looking to get a double-header douchebag award:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qu1PFTBW7OQ[/youtube]

But John Edwards is here to remind you “You can’t nice your way into the Douchebag Awards.  The douchebags will roll over you like a steam roller.”  And its trued that there is so much competition in Republican ranks that I’d never thought I’d be giving the award to a Dem, but he’s coming on strong.  So, where better than Morning Joe to make your case for your candidacy:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z91mi0-rCWk[/youtube]

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Rudy Giuliani: Douchebag of the Week

Douchebag of the WeekI’ve been so wrapped up in the results of the Iowa caucuses and other things that I completely forgot to honor this week’s Douchebag of the Week!  That would indeed have been unfortunate, as there were a number of contenders, this week.  You would have expected as much, what with this being the week between the Iowa caucuses and the New Hampshire primaries.

Some were surprise entries, like John McCain suggesting we be in Iraq for the next hundred years.  Or how about Hillary Clinton suggesting that she was the only “innocent” player in the Democratic primaries?  Holy crap, Hil, let’s not open that can of worms, shall we?  In fact, it might have even been a good time to give Tweety the nod for his sycophantic love of John McCain, simultaneously praising McCain’s 82% loss while pooh-poohing Hillary Clinton’s 29% win.

But however predictable and lamentable this man’s methods may be, there can simply be no more fitting an award winner than former Mayor Rudy Giuliani for his comparison of his stunningly crappy sixth place loss to – what else? – 9/11:
Election Central | Talking Points Memo | Rudy Invokes 9/11 To Deflect Questions About Iowa Loss

“None of this worries me — Sept. 11, there were times I was worried.”

Could it possibly get this lame?  Could there possibly be a worse attempt at sticking to your bullet points?  Could it be any more bald that the only thing this guy really has to run on is his renown for having walked through New York on 911?

I think not.  And what’s more, this comment has made his entire argument – that he is tested by the 911 experience and ready to lead the country – seem even more unseemly than it actually is, which is pretty frickin’ unseemly, if you ask me.

And so congratulations to you, former Mayor Rudy Giuliani!  You’re the douchingest douchebag in a week filled with douchebags.

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Rudy Wars III: Revenge of the Mooslums

Let a man’s supporters tell you what he stands for.  Even if he’s dead wrong, guilt by association means oh, so much more for politicians than it does for the rest of us:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eu_79X9HTPQ[/youtube]

As you can see, supporters of Rudy are very concerned, because it turns out that Mooslums are very shmart, . . . in their way.  Don’t miss the whole gory event, replete with white people unafraid to show their fear of brown folk who have left their “caves,” at The Guardian.

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Giuliani and Kerik: Friends to Russian Oligarchy?

Well, we go from the House of Bush and their unholy alliance to the House of Saud during the Age of Terror. Now that it looks like Russian Premier Putin is setting himself up to be puppetmaster to the Russian government, how apropos that the next Republican nominee to the presidency have ties to Russian Oligarchy:

Giuliani’s Kerik Woes Resurface Through Informant – washingtonpost.com

Ray, 48, met Kerik at a New Jersey bar during Kerik’s rise through the ranks of the Giuliani mayoral administration. In the mid-1990s, Ray said, he and Kerik saw each other almost daily and they e-mailed frequently. Kerik often signed his missives to Ray, “I Love You — B.” In fall 1997, Kerik asked Ray to use his contacts in Russia to try to arrange a meeting between Giuliani and Gorbachev, Ray said. Among his many hats, Ray said that he had managed to become a security advance man for some of Gorbachev’s trips to the United States.

Hmm. . . and just who were these “contacts” inside of Russia? Certainly, during the reign of Gorbachev, it could be members of the Politiburo. But just as likely, the contacts could have been some of the up-and-coming Oligarchs of Russia’s then near-future, the men who were positioning themselves at this time to take over the country financially. For a recap on some of the ugliness, see my article on Alexander Litvinenko here.

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Rudy: Tough on Crime, Tough on Liberals

FactCheck.org always does a great job of laying bare the bull of national candidates. Their most recent post takes on Rudy Giuliani and his most recent ad, which states that Rudy is both responsible for the drop in crime rates in NYC and also a Conservative sheep among the Liberal wolves in Hippie Town:

FactCheck.org: The Not-Quite Truth About NYC

Rudy Giuliani’s latest TV ad falsely claims New York City experienced “record crime … until Rudy.” In fact, the city recorded its highest rates of both violent crime and property crime years before he took office. The downward trend was well established before he was sworn in.The ad also claims New York is “America’s most liberal city,” but his campaign offers no evidence showing that the city is more liberal than, say, San Francisco; Berkeley; Washington, D.C.; or Detroit, all of which rank as more liberal in a study of voting behavior in the 2004 elections. In that study, New York ranked 21st among cities with populations of more than 100,000.

But of course, NYC as the “Most Liberal City in America” fits well into the Conservative fantasy of the northern Liberal cabal that is New York. After all, the idea of Gary, Indiana as the most Liberal city just doesn’t fit the stereotype. It works well because it gives the impression that Rudy has tackled flaming Liberals in the past and so is qualified to take on Hillary Clinton, the presumed Democratic candidate.

But of course, like his entire campaign and his entire mythos, that’s all crap.