An open letter to TV execs: the man in the leopard print tights will not be changing his spots

Steven Tyler is a rock-n-roll icon. Steven Tyler is a founding member of one of the most successful rock groups in history. Steven Tyler is “icky.”

So saith MSNBC commentator Craig Berman, because apparently Steven Tyler said something of a sexual nature to a 15-year-old girl. Well, what he said was, “Hot, humid and happening — just like your daughter,” which to be honest, sounds more stupid than legitimately, intentionally sexual.

Is it appropriate to say such things about a 15-year-old? No. Is it appropriate to say such things about just about anybody on network television? Probably not.

But this is Steven fucking Tyler we’re talking about. A cursory inspection of his 40-year career would make it crystal clear for anyone who looks that there is nothing terribly appropriate about Steven Tyler’s career. Because he’s a rock star. Because he’s a rock-n-roll icon. Because he’s Steven fucking Tyler.

Because... this.

And it was Steven Tyler that they hired for the show. So, lets not pretend that anything less than rock star attitude – which is, first and foremost, about sex – was what the network execs were looking for. They took a beleaguered old television show about finding the next Celine Dion and made a desperate play to make it interesting. In other words, American Idol + Steven Tyler == Joanie Love Chachi.

Though to be honest, the world wasn't ready for Chachi to do blow off Joanie's ass in 1984.

And if this were the only glaring case of manufactured controversy begetting manufactured outrage, I would have left this post unwritten. But like Hollywood loves copycats, so does Hollywood media. Today we learn that a woman on the reality show Mob Wives who goes by the delightfully unsuspicious moniker “Big Ang,” apparently has been arrested several times for selling drugs….


That’s right. We’re shocked to learn that Big Ang is not entirely on the up-and-up. I would find it strange if you couldn’t find Big Ang’s number in Steven Tyler’s phone.

So, I guess what I’m getting at here is: if you want a more dignified network television selection – one that focuses on important things like violence, instead of all the fun things sex and drugs – you’ll probably want to not hire people with forty-year histories of said. You know, maybe Google them. Or something….

By Tommy Belknap

Owner, developer, editor of DragonFlyEye.Net, Tom Belknap is also a freelance journalist for The 585 lifestyle magazine. He lives in the Rochester area with his wife and son.