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Colin Powell’s a Big Fag

The last thing Republicans need right now is prevarication before the enemy, which is what Colin Powell advocates. Moments of defeat are moments that test the mettle of political parties and those who will not allow their back to be broken will be rewarded on heaven and earth in good order.

Republicans need to purge their party of the weak. They need to stand firm on the principles of fear, torture, economic hedonism, religious literalism and intolerance on which their great successes of the last few decades have been built. Only then will the American public see them for the ideological purity they possess. Only then will the American people take them truly seriously as a force to be dealt with.

We look to you, noble Republicans, to take up the white man’s burden.

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The Raw Story » Sarah’s getting a gun

Raw Story reported today that the NRA has decided to show Sarah Palin some ballistic love, in appreciation for her support of gun rights, by delivering to her a custom-made M4 assault rifle:

via The Raw Story » Sarah’s getting a gun.

The NRA announced Monday that for her service to gun owners, it will give Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin a white, M4 semi-automatic with a custom, .50 caliber Beowulf chamber.

On the other hand, the Anchorage Daily News reports that, much like Sarah herself:

A military weapons specialist tells the Monitor the semiautomatic rifle is “sweet” but says it’s not suitable for hunting — or anything else, really.

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144 Characters of Stoopid

I suppose we should be thankful to have a medium where Sarah Palin can communicate without all the extra babbling. She’s got herself a Twitter account. Like hearing your gradma say, “don’t go there,” this is one of those events that helps us identify the moment when we can officially call trends such as the Twitter thing dead.

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GM and Segway Introduce: Sarcasm on Wheels


Just in case you thought GM was really taking this whole green car thing seriously, here comes the latest innovation in garbage can-shaped mobility from GM and Segway: the PUMA.

So, there’s your options: a huge SUV loaded to the gills with shit you don’t need; or a PUMA, which doesn’t even have sides and into which your confused kid might accidentally drop the bag of used kitty litter.

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Ever Get The Feeling You’re Being Watched?

I’m being followed. By Rochester. I presume, all of it. Weird.

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I’m a Thinker

I wonder how active AIG’s LinkedIn.com page will be for the next few weeks? How linked into AIG does one really want to be at this point?

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I’m a Thinker

I think that, Eric Massa‘s vocal support of the bill notwithstanding, the idea of taxing the bonus money from AIG is remarkably bad policy on any number of levels. But the suggestion that “risk-averse” companies might not take part in bailout efforts because of the punitive measures such as these is fatuous on the face of it.

I thought that the reason we needed to pass the initial bailout bill was because the only other alternative was the collapse of banks across the country and a collapse of our economy along with them? If that’s the case, what alternative do companies have besides participating in the bailout efforts, other than collapse? I’m thinking that if the answer is anything other than collapse, they probably shouldn’t be stepping up to suck the teet of Washington, should they?

Hard to know which bullshit coming out of Wall Street is the correct bullshit to listen to. My vote would be not to listen to any of it.

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Two Wars, an Economy in Crisis and. . .

. . . the Westminster Dog Show.

That’s right. PETA decided now was the time to protest the fucking Westminster Dog Show dressed in KKK outfits. Seriously? Apparently, breeding dogs is a question of creating a “Master Race.” That’s the well-considered position of PETA, an animal rights activist group that presumably expects to be taken seriously.

So, tell me: which of these is the “Master Race” of dogs? Is it this one:

Or this one:

Which do you suppose strikes more fear into the heart of the non-Aryan?

So, to the extent that I really have nothing better to do this morning, it’s totally worth the effort just rattle off the things that come to mind making PETA look like a bunch of fucking ass-munching douchebags as usual:

First of all, breeds and races are not in any way related. A race represents a huge population of humans who share a geographic origin, skin color and facial features, but are an otherwise genetically diverse group amongst which inter-procreating is normal and non-destructive. Breeds are really the selective reinforcement of specific genetic traits through careful breeding of genetically similar animals. Inter-procreation among these animals can sometimes have negative effects because they are so closely related, but at the same time, holding together a breed is an act of constant diligence akin to picking up Jell-O with salad tongs.

Indeed, the notion that breeding can even effect a modest change in the overall dog population is farce. The overwhelming majority of dogs are not pure bred in the first place and have no interest in maintaining their genetic identity, screwing each other with wild abandon. This is also distinct from, say, inter-species breeding in birds or butterflies, which is generally not possible. A Schnauzer does the hokey-pokey with a Lhasa Apso, and before you know it, you’re right back to just plain “dog.”

But whatever you think of the genetics of breeding, there is a huge and one would think not terribly nuanced difference between selectively breeding dogs and systematically exterminating Jews. Moreover, the Westminster Dog Show has dogs competing within their own breeds, in classes of breeds and finally in Best of Show. If there was one “Master Race” of dogs, it wouldn’t be much fun, now would it?

Notice that they don’t make the direct case for animal cruelty, and there’s little wonder why. While there is always an exception to prove every rule, dog handlers treat their dogs better than most of their families. This is a labour of love for which there is very little reward and hundreds of thousands of dollars lost every year. Yes, it’s also a labour of egos for the rich, we can admit that. But these dogs eat the best food, live in the best conditions, get the best veterinarian care.

There are millions of dogs all across America and the planet, scattered to the four winds and fending for themselves or sitting in shelters waiting to get gassed. Why are these dogs the ones you need to make a show for? Call me cynical, but I think I know the answer to this last question: because cameras don’t show up at animal shelters very often. Fuck the dead dogs, let’s make a show about the pretty ones.

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Weatherizing

OK, clips of this speech have been all over the news nets for the last two days. It’s the one where Barack Obama announces plans to limit executive pay for companies receiving federal tax dollars. Its an important speech, even if the plan itself is quite toothless in its conception. It’s an act of pure social justice that demands executives benefiting from our largess should be expected to show a measure of humility in the process.

But never mind all that. Check out the window behind him:
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeFRLl3LspY[/youtube]
Is that plastic sheeting on those windows? Am I meant to understand that the White House is being weatherized by wrapping up the windows in plastic? No wonder the new prez has been slow to discuss policy publicly: he’s probably got a golf ball sized blister on his hair dryer hand.

Don’t tell me he isn’t serious about weatherizing and energy efficiency!

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Are You Ready for Some (Tax Payer Funded) Football?

Well, too late. Because Bank of America already spent your cash on a “NFL Experience” carnival outside the Superbowl last night. If you hurry, you can probably still get some day-old hotdogs and old napkins that are swirling around on Dale Mabry Highway in Tampa.

I understand the justification that they used: that they already had an obligation to the NFL. But I think under the circumstances, if they said to the NFL, “what do you say we tone this down? Save some cash? Maybe bring half the big-titted beer girls to the show? Or maybe just half the tits?” the NFL would probably have understood just fine. Maybe I’m naive.

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I’m a Thinker

We keep going round and round about “how do you value toxic assets?” meaning that bailing out banks means buying up failed assets worth less than their paper value. This is the “bad bank,” thing you may be hearing a lot about. So, how do we gauge the value of these assets? We know the value has plummeted, but when the entire economy is depressed, the asset is worth even less than it would normally be. What exactly is a fair price?

We’re not talking about one or two, but millions of them. And how do we know that the government’s not going to get ripped off by unscrupulous banks trying to recoup their losses?

Well, how about we take some people who are unemployed and put them to the task of valuing the assets? We should have that process over lickety-split, no shit. And we’d put some people to work in the process.

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I Weep for Rich Ex-Wives

I was astonished when my feed roll showed an article called “Dear Ben Stein …” that wasn’t written by Felix Salmon…

It’s hard to know where to begin to criticize Ben Stein’s most recent article, so I don’t think I’ll bother. A good wrap up of the hilarity can be found at Political Animal. I’m having a hard time understanding why I should feel bad for a woman living in a 2.7 million dollar home at the largess of a high-rolling ex husband? Especially when the article is written under the NYT banner of “Everybody’s Business?”

Maybe it’s perspective. I think we aught to make everyone a millionaire so we can appreciate. Can you say “proper use of stimulus package?”